Just Me

 So it's been a very long time since I have posted anything here - and I have to say, if I do come back to this journal it won't be anything like it was. My boyfriend and I split up over the summer and are since talking again - but nothing will come of it aside from a potentially slightly awkward friendship. I might continue to use this journal just as a regular journal - one for ranting about the days events and such - but it won't be the exciting journal it once was. 

Well - as I have a midterm tomorrow I better get to the studying...

though just barely. School is crazy busy...so crazy busy...but that's school for you. My chem prof is evil...actually, her midterms are not fair at all, in any way...they don't reflect what she teaches in the lectures, or the questions that she assigns from the text...they are way out there and harder and it's not fair to expect us to be able to pull knowledge out of our asses. Whatever...I am trying (trying being the key word there) not to let it stress me out too too much. 

There is just so much to do that letting anything stress you out too much causes you to fall behind...and that sucks majorly. Lots to do this week. Hopefully seeing Mom for coffee tomorrow night and then going back to their place on Thursday night. I miss them terribly. So much. I love Greg, and he is doing all he can to keep me happy and sane, but there is just a different kind of support from the parents...you know? It's just different...it's more guided I guess. Mom talked about setting me up in an apartment downtown, but I really don't want to live alone...I mean, I would almost certainly get more studying done...but I would be alone, and that would totally suck..a lot. At the same time, I might be more sane...but I don't think so. I don't know that I would want to live ALONE. I would see Mom sometimes there, and it's not like Greg and friends couldn't visit, but still. 

Anyway, that's really all that's going on in my life...working some, not too much...got a credit card finally...so I can do the damn stuff online for the university. That's really it...not all that interesting...should get back to my anatomy assignment!

I should probably be studying calculus...but at this point...I don't want to anymore...

I am going to go for a run in about 20 minutes, and then have a shower, study some more...probably biology. Then hopefully Greg can drive me to Place d'Orleans so I can talk to an employee at American Eagle there and see if their hours are any better. I am also working on an application for a bar here...which could be lots of fun. I might send that in soon and see what happens. If I get hired there then I will have to quit at the store...which would kind of suck because I like the people there, but it's too far away, and the hours kind of suck..a lot. Working in a bar would be kind of cool. But firstr I am going to see if they can just transfer me, because that wouldn't be too bad. As long as I got good tips I suppose...

Well, I should definately be studying right now...

Last night, I was sitting with Greg by his computer...and he turned off the light, and put on Coldplay - Scientist and just kissed more for the whole thing! It was so sweet.

It's been quite a while since I updated here...not a crazy lot has happened...except that I have written one midterm, have another one tomorrow, then two the next Wednesday, and one a week after that. Not too too bad. Not looking forward to calculus which is next Wednesday...I think if I do the suggested problems, I should do not too badly. Really, I think I am overreacting at how bad is really is. Because mostly I just need to sit down and DO IT and I will be just fine. My chem midterm wasn't totally fair, in all honesty. I studied pretty hard for it, I did three practice midterms and they weren't hard, at all. And when I read the questions on the midterm I was given, they were nothing like the practice ones from previous years, at all. Which, personally, I find to be quite annoying, as she led us to believe that if we did those midterms we would be just fine. And, I am not the only one who thinks that way either...so if it turns out that we all did poorly, we are going to talk to the appeal centre, or her, whichever we decide is the best course of action. 

Other than that...not much. Yesterday was a rough day...I got home and just felt like I wasn't in a place I should be, with respect to university. I just, didn't feel that I was enjoying myself...at all. And I thought that for 4800$ I should at least like it...a little bit. I just, didn't know what I was doing there. And I was ok..until Greg asked me what was wrong...and he knew as soon as he walked into the room...then I burst into tears...he took me upstairs, depsite my protests of needing to study, and laid me down on the bed and held me. And just comforted me. He told me I was early this year (according to Mom I have a mental breakdown every October...and I did have one last Thanksgiving, Greg fixed that one too...), and that I wasn't allowed to leave his arms until I was happy again. We talked about a lot of things...one was that I didn't believe justification for going to university in my program was that I couldn't think of anything else to do...he said maybe you can't think of anything else, because it's what you are meant to be doing. I suppose...maybe. But still. 

I am in a much better mood today though. Don't know why yesterday was such a rough day...I just really didn't feel good..not health good, mental good. But I am better now...for now anyway. We'll see how long that lasts. 

Well, I should probably get back to studying for my midterm tomorrow...had to take a break because I was in super hand pain from writing so much...

Hopefully things calm down after the midterms...but I doubt it. I think they will after next Wednesday. A friend is probably coming over around the 20th, because we have that day off, which is nice.

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This is my journal where I can write down whatever I want. Usually it will be related to my boyfriend and whatever we do, but not always. It's a personal journal where you don't me and I don't know you. If you would like to follow my life in this journal, reply to this asking to be added and I'll add you ;)